


Just Another Potato-Related Incident

by Prussian Joltik (Twilight_Joltik)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Crack Fic, Doitsuism, Gen, Not a serious, One-Shot, maybe a tiny bit of gerita but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:45:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twilight_Joltik/pseuds/Prussian%20Joltik
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So, let me get this straight: I was gone for ten minutes and you two created a cult around me?" Or, how Doitsuism was created.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Another Potato-Related Incident

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Worst Holiday, here's a thing. Just tried to think of how Doitsuism could have possibly happened in-universe, so this happened. So, erm, I own nothing and I am not attempting to make fun of anything or be sacrilegious I just thought this was amusing. So, thank you and may you Shine Bright like a Doitsu~!
> 
> If you are confused as to what this is about, I direct you here: http://doitsuism.wikia.com/wiki/About_Doitsuism

"Agh, how could I be so stupid! I knew we were running out, how I have forgotten to get more potatoes?"

Germany had been pacing about, saying things to this effect for the past few minutes. And yes, while it wasn't unusual for him to get worked up over small things, it wasn't exactly his style to have a panic attack over being two potatoes short of what the recipe called for.

It was probably because Italy was eating with him and Prussia, but even that was kind of silly, given those were the last two people on the planet who would judge him for anything.

"I am a complete failure and- Prussia, turn that obnoxious music down, I can hear it from here!"

His older brother took an earbud out and shrugged as some annoying pop song from America blared across the room. Wouldn't shut up about shining "bright like a diamond", and Italy cringed a bit from the sudden burst of noise.

A few small clicks, and the roar lessened to a volume that it was slightly more believable that someone could actually have something that close to their eardrums at.

"Thank you. Ah, I suppose it would be best of me to run to ALDI and pick up some more potatoes, so, um..."

He was about to tell one of the two to mind the other while he was out, but he quickly realized he didn't trust either with keeping the other in check. So, instead, he went over to pet one of his dogs, who was sitting by the front door, and acknowledged that he would be much more responsible than his sibling or friend.

"Aster, you're in charge. Make sure these two don't do anything stupid, ja?"

Accepting the silence as a yes, he jolted out the door to repent for his potato-related sins. Not a second later, Prussia's music had returned to ear-slaying levels of noise and Italy was doodling something or other in his sketchbook, humming along.

"Shine bright like a diamond", "shine bright like a diamond"; the melody continued until while not paying attention, he got the words a bit mixed up. Maybe it was a train of thought something like "I'm drawing Germany and Japan and Japan calls Germany Doitsu sometimes and that sounds like diamond," or maybe it was a slip of the tounge. The world may never know how, but the words "shine bright like a Doitsu" soon replaced the lyrics.

Prussia, who had tired of America's music for the time being, took his earbuds out to hear the repeated mutter of this and laughed. "Heh, what are you going on about?"

"Huh?" Italy's brain caught up with his mouth, and he realized what he'd done to some extend, so he laughed too. "I dunno, what would that mean, 'shine bright like a Doitsu'?"

They weren't too sure, but the two kept repeating it until it sounded like some sort of mantra. And between the giggles, they realized that it kind of made Germany sound rather impressive, to be telling each other to shine bright like him.

From there, it just escalated until Germany returned a short while later with an entire bag of potatoes and was halfway through apologizing once more before he realized that the two of them were sprawled out across the floor of the living room with several sheets of copy paper and colored pens.

"What in earth's name are you doing?", he questioned, and was rather confused by the weird combination between revery and suppressed laughter on the faces of his guest and his older brother.

"Lord Doitsu! You have returned to bless us with the Holy Potatoes!", Italy exclaimed.

And Germany was infinitely more confused, this feeling amplified by Prussia's addition of "We have shone brightly like you in your absence, Lord Doitsu!"

"Once again, what is all of…" He gestured to them and the papers strewn about his perfectly clean floor. "This?"

Italy slid one of the papers towards him, and he bent down to see a drawing of a potato with the words "Shine Bright like a Doitsu" written under it. The terrible song came back into his head, and he groaned.

"We have seen the light of the Doitsu, and First Prophet Veneziano and I have written the Laws of Doitsuism so that we may share them with the world!"

Prussia waved another sheet of paper to emphasize this, and Germany slowly realized what was going on with a groan.

"So, let me get this straight: I was gone for ten minutes and you two created a cult around me?"

"Pretty much, yeah!"

Germany cast a glance at Aster, who was fast asleep and muttered something to the effect of "I told you to keep order" under his breath. He then strode over to his brother and snatched the page with the so-called "Laws of Doitsuism" on them out of his hand.

The second his eyes passed over the fourth law, which in what could only be his brother's handwriting stated "You must marry the gay Italian", he threw the paper in the air and began to storm off to his room.

"That's it!", he declared. "I quit! I am done with this, good night!"

"Wait!", Italy called back at the retreating Germany. "We haven't even gotten to sing our sacred hymn!"


End file.
